you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
i now understand why vodka
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
