Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
