Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
