I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
