I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
