She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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