gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
