i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
