just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
