He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Shame - the story of my life.
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