i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize