some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
