I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
