I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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