im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize