Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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