I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
