dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Enjoy the penises
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
