wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
