I murdered the dance floor call the cops
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
