So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
