I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
