what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
