we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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