I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
