I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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