Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
