every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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