Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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