Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
