hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
