I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
is wine microwaveable?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
