Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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