That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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