I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
