you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
my god I love twenty year old dicks
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
