Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
