I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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