I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
