God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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