Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
