I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize