this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
