: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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