I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
