No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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