His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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