Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
