hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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