Moan for me like Helen Keller
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
