wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
