If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Everclear isn't food dammit
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
