I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
