She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
