The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
