I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize