Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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