My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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