If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
