he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
