SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
