I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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