i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
