saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize