i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize