idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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