she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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