what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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