why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
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