FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
