That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
