i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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