Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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