All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
PANTIES FOUND
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
