I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
