the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
